So your Facebook friend is looking to get a dog…

[Dear TU readers: this post started as a comment to an actual Facebook friend of mine, and then I thought, "Man, I write some version of this comment SO OFTEN: wouldn't it be helpful if I just had a post to link to?" So I wrote one! I'm going to guess that a whole bunch of us have had similar experiences on Facebook, right? If so, feel free to link this sucker to your heart's content. You're welcome!]

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Dear Facebook friend,

Hi there! It’s been a while since we’ve talked! Perhaps you’re an old friend from high school; maybe you’re an aunt’s-cousin’s-neighbor; maybe you’re a good friend who lives far enough away that we don’t have a ton of time to talk dogs in person. Whatever it is: hello!

Here’s the deal: you just posted a comment on Facebook about how you were thinking about getting a dog for the first time, you’d like to rescue, and you’re wondering what breed to get. You may also have said some of the things you’re hoping your future dog will have. Maybe you want them to be good with kids. Maybe you want a dog who doesn’t shed. Maybe you think you only want a small dog. I know I don’t normally write big giant comments on your posts, but here’s the thing: I have a LOT of opinions about dogs, and I’d rather write a big long comment on Facebook about dogs than do the dishes right now! So here you go.

The first piece of advice I’m going to give you is this: don’t focus so much on breed.I know, I know: there are so many dogs out there, and thinking about breed helps you focus your search. I get it. But here’s the thing: first off, there’s no breed that’s inherently good with kids (or cats, or whatever). There just isn’t. There are dogs who are bred to be companions, some dogs who are bred to be a little more tolerant of nonsense, etc. However, within those broad breed types, you have a lot of individual dogs with a lot of individual personalities and a lot of individual feelings on kids (or cats, or whatever).  Second, if you’re going through a shelter or non-breed specific rescue, you’re usually going to be dealing with some very fuzzy breed designations that are almost certainly incorrect. This is not because the rescue people are trying to trick you; it’s just that they legitimately don’t know the dog’s background and they’re trying to make a guess based on what the dog looks like. Most rescues hate having to guess breeds for dogs, because they KNOW it’s a guess: the thing is that most shelter software (and Petfinder) requires you to list a breed or breed mix for dogs in the system, so the shelter people have to make a guess whether they want to or not. LOTS of studies have been done about visual breed IDs and those studies find, without exception, visual breed IDs of mixed breed dogs are nearly always inaccurate. If you want more information on this, the National Canine Research Council has a great page here that you can read: here’s one set of pictures from that page that I think really sums it up!

Picture one: a purebred Basenji and a purebred Cocker Spaniel

parents of hybrids

Picture Two: Their Babies

Scott and fuller F1

So, TL;DR–the cute little dog at the shelter or on Petfinder who is listed as a Lab/Pomeranian cross is probably definitely not that (or anything close to it.) If you look at that dog and say, “Ooo, a Lab mix! That means he loves kids, because Labs love kids!”, you are compounding the error.

There’s also no breed of dog that won’t shed–some dogs, like poodles, shed into their undercoat rather than dropping hair, but the flip side of that is that they need to be groomed on a very consistent basis or they’ll turn into a giant mat because the shed hair has nowhere to go. One of the biggest pieces of incorrect information floating around about dogs is the idea that if your dog is a poodle or poodle cross, they won’t shed. First of all, the dog you’re looking at is likely not a poodle cross: see above. Second of all, this!

So really: breed is not the best criteria to use when you’re picking a rescue dog. If you are really really really focused on breed, then go to a breed-specific rescue. However, if what you’re looking for is a nice, fun, family dog, you are unnecessarily limiting your pool by looking only at purebreds. Also, let me say this right now: sure, you can find purebreds in rescue and in shelters, but those purebreds are not the carefully-selected dogs who have been bred thoughtfully with an eye towards temperament and structure that you’re thinking of. The purebred dogs in rescue or in shelters are almost exclusively from crappy breeders, BYBs or mills. This is because good breeders do not let dogs they produce end up in shelters, period. All good breeders will stipulate in their contract that if a dog cannot stay with the family who bought them for whatever reason, they must be returned to the breeder (or the breeder must be involved in the selection of a new home): that is one of the very few iron-clad rules of ‘what makes a good breeder’. Now, are there occasionally examples of carefully bred, purchased dogs who get dumped in shelters in violation of the puppy buyer’s contract? Sure. But usually those dogs are chipped with information leading to the breeder, and usually somewhere there’s a breeder fighting like hell to get that dog back. The breeders whose dogs end up in the shelter and stay there do not, by definition, care where their dogs end up. These are also typically breeders who don’t care about other important stuff, like health testing and temperament. The long and short of it is that if you’re getting a purebred dog from a rescue or shelter, you are not getting a dog who’s any “better” than the mixed breed dogs in the shelter (in the sense that you have any predictability about things like their health or temperament).

So what are you supposed to look for if not breed? Realistically, the best way to find a dog who you’re compatible with is to think about two things: the dog’s personality and the dog’s energy level. You can consider size too, to a certain extent: bigger dogs, can, of course, accidentally knock a child or an older person down (though smaller dogs can trip people!) However, size is usually not as helpful of a metric as the dog’s energy level. My personal go-to dog for families with kids is usually a sweet, lazy old pittie (who are medium to large dogs) because they tend to be very tolerant of kid nonsense and they tend to have low exercise needs. Small dogs are not inherently calm dogs.

So, let’s break those categories down a little bit. First, personality:

-As first time dog people, especially if you have kids, you’re probably going to want a dog who’s tolerant, patient and can handle a lot of novel stimulus (a lot of times, when rescues say ‘no kids under 12′, that is code for, “this dog is not that patient and is going to snap at a kid who’s handling her incorrectly”). Rescues will have a lot of different words to describe this–easy-going, go-with-the-flow, low-key–and will almost certainly be able to point you in the direction of a dog who fits that description. 

-It is nice to have a social dog–who doesn’t want their dog to like hanging out with them?–but be a little careful here. That dog who is totally, 100% focused on you when you meet her? The dog who stares at you the whole time when you take her out on a walk? The dog in the run who makes a beeline over to you and hangs out with you the whole time instead of interacting with her runmates or things happening outside? The dog who prompts people to say, when telling the story of her adoption later, “She picked us!” That may be the perfect dog for you, but that might also be a dog who gets really stressed out when you leave her alone or a dog who has a tough time finding something to do on her own when you’re occupied with something else. My pick for an average, busy, new-to-dogs family is not the super social dog who wants to be with you 100% of the time: it’s the dog who comes over and checks in with you regularly and then wanders off to smell an interesting smell or play with a toy.  You guys are probably busy people, and the dog is going to need to have some capacity to amuse herself; really social dogs tend to suffer a little bit when they’re alone, and they can often have a hard time making their own fun.

Next, energy level:

-For an average busy family, I’d look for a dog with low-to-moderate exercise needs. A high-energy dog is not a dog who’s going to be satisfied with playing chuck-it in the back yard, neighborhood walks and the occasional weekend hike. Lots of dogs have vestiges of our agrarian past, when we needed dogs to help us work 10-12 hours a day, imprinted in their DNA. Herding dogs, little terriers (bred to be independent workers who killed invading critters), and hunting dogs are all on this list, and they often don’t adapt well to being casual family pets. Yes, this includes Labs. I know a lot of people in this comment thread are saying “get a Lab” [TU readers: feel free to amend this if everyone's telling your Facebook friend to get a different breed, but let's be real: it's probably Labs, right? Labs or some kind of doodle-something?]  Sure, there are some lazy Labs out there, but Labs are bred to be high-energy working dogs and often are:  my local shelter and most of the shelters I’ve worked at are lousy with busy, energetic teenage Labs who were too much for the families who got them thinking they’d be sweet, easy pets. 

-You know who are frequently going to have those low-medium energy needs I talked about in the previous point? Older dogs. Yes, I know–you are looking for a dog between 1-2 years old, a dog who can grow up with your kids, etc. etc. That’s the dog everyone thinks they want: past puppy stage, but still young and fun. However, here’s something to consider: in my opinion, that’s one of the most difficult ages for dogs, behavior-wise. Dogs all tend to mature at different rates, but usually, they go through teenagerhood somewhere between 1-3 years old. This, not coincidentally, is a very very very very common age for dogs to be surrendered to shelters; teenage dogs, generally speaking, are usually a combination of lots of energy, a clumsy body that they don’t know how to use appropriately yet, a puppy brain, and a selective memory for things like manners and the cues they learned when they were puppies. They do eventually mature, but, like humans, teenagers are teenager-y. Dogs also frequently start getting choosy about other dogs at around three years old (that’s a rough estimate, but it’s a pretty common timeline). As such, the super fun, play-with-everyone two-year old you adopted can turn into a three-year old who doesn’t want to go to the dog park and is yelling at other dogs on the street. Think about the way you made friends when you were kids (“You have a red bike; I have a red bike: WE ARE BEST FRIENDS!”) and the way you make friends as an adult. You’re choosier, right?  Similarly, dogs often get more selective around other dogs as they age: it’s very common occurrence and certainly modifiable with some training. That said, if you opt for a somewhat older dog, you will likely find a dog with a personality that’s a little bit more stable: the dog knows what he likes and doesn’t, and has developed some coping skills around the things he doesn’t like. If it’s really important that, for example, your dog get along with other dogs, you’ll get better information from a six year old dog than you will from a one year old dog. That’s nice information to have when you’re adopting! And even if you get a six year old dog, you’re still going to have that dog for a good long time, likely the better part of a decade.

So how do you go about finding a dog with a personality and an energy level that works for you? There’s no way around it: you’re going to have to go look at a bunch of dogs. There’s no real online substitute for that. Take an afternoon or three, go to shelters in your area and/or email some local rescues about meeting some of their fostered dogs. Do you want to know how to make a shelter person love you? Go in, and instead of saying “I want this dog I saw on Petfinder because he looks cute” or “I want this dog who looks like a Boxer because I had Boxers when I was a kid and all Boxers are great”,  go in and say, “hey, this is our situation: we’ve got a young kid, we are new dog owners, who do you have that might be a good fit for us?” Shelters and rescues generally loooooooove it when people do this, because they know the dogs really well and can make good solid recommendations for dogs who will fit your lifestyle. There is always some dog at a shelter who all the shelter workers adore, and they say, “It is so crazy he hasn’t been adopted yet!” to each other every time they go by him. Sometimes that dog isn’t the flashiest one in the row, or sometimes he is sweet and mellow and is overlooked, but I guarantee you that dog will still be cute and awesome (because all dogs are cute and awesome.) The people at the shelter are dying to show you that dog, I promise. You also might look to see if your local shelter has any programs in place like the ASPCA’s Meet Your Match program: these programs are designed to match people with compatible pets based on personality, and they have very high success and adopter satisfaction rates.

In addition, some trainers will also help you pick out a dog as one of the services they provide. Look around at the trainers in your area and see if you can find anybody who explicitly offers this. If you don’t find this immediately, call around: track down a local positive reinforcement trainer (the Association of Pet Dog Trainers website has a good database) and ask them if they might be able to help you. There are lots of benefits to this approach. First, you’ve got a second pair of (professional) eyes helping you make the decision, and second, you’ve also made a nice connection with somebody who can help you when your new dog starts displaying issues (which most dogs will do at some point in their lives). Just as you wouldn’t wait until your baby was really sick to start researching pediatricians, it can be helpful to make some contacts with local trainers early: they can often point you towards some good classes to take with your new dog, and if your dog does end up with some quirky behaviors, you already have a nice person in your corner who can help you work on them.

Finally, a quick word on where you should get a dog if you’re looking to adopt. First, if you’re looking to make a real, immediate difference with your adoption, consider starting at a kill shelter. Yes, these can be emotionally draining places to be, and yes, you will look at a lot of dogs and not be able to take all of them home, and yes, you are helping dogs no matter what organization you adopt from, but if you go to a kill shelter, you are literally, immediately saving a life: that’s the reality of it.  There are a zillion awesome dogs at your local pound, I promise. If that’s too emotionally taxing (no judgement!), go to a no-kill shelter. No-kill shelters are very frequently pulling dogs from the local pound, so they help ease the pressure on pounds and decrease the euthanasia rate. The dogs at the no-kill shelter are, generally speaking, safe, so you aren’t faced with the same pressure when you’re choosing one dog over another. Often, no-kill shelters have programs in place for assessing and training the dogs in their care, so you may get a dog who’s had some work put into him!

Next, there’s private rescue. I want to be frank about this: there are awesome private rescues and there are also private rescues that aren’t so great. There are some private rescues who have a dedicated network of tireless volunteers and foster parents who work very hard to match animals with great homes. There are also some private rescues that pull cute fluffy dogs from the pound and then resell the dog for many hundreds of dollars (well beyond the price of the dog’s care). There are some rescues where the dogs are in the best home of their lives; there are some rescues that are indistinguishable from hoarding situations. There’s no independent accreditation for rescues, so do your homework beforehand and make sure you’re not adopting from the rescue equivalent of a puppy mill.  In addition to this, there are some private rescues who are excited to match up people and dogs quickly so they can bring more dogs into their rescue; there are also some private rescues that make you feel like an axe murderer for having the temerity to try to adopt one of their dogs. We’ve talked about this before on TU, and if the comments on that post are any indication, the feeling of being rejected by rescue is pretty common. I don’t want to sound completely snide about that second type of rescue, because I’ve been on both sides of it–I’ve been a foster parent for rescue before, and even though I believe strongly in the concept of open adoption, I found myself immediately clamping down on my foster dog. She MUST go to a home that was interested in pursuing agility or another dog sport, I told myself. They MUST have an active interest in training and be physically active themselves. I turned down so many good adopters because I had The Perfect Home in mind for my foster dog. So really, I can see how rescue people drift into feeling like “most homes are terrible, our dogs are great, we’re going to be super super super picky about where our dogs go”. But what that turns into is all these stifling blanket requirements: you must have an eight foot tall privacy fence, your home must be [x] size, somebody in the home needs to be home with the dog 100% of the time, dogs can only be adopted by a married couple, no adopters under 25, etc etc. Statistically, those kinds of strict requirements do not keep dogs in homes, nor do they increase adoption rates–there are studies! What they do do is make people feel discouraged that they’ll ever be ‘allowed’ to adopt, and then they turn to puppy mills/BYB/Craigslist and other places where they don’t feel judged for being imperfect/human.

So, Facebook Friend/Future Adopter, here’s my last piece of advice: if you run into a rescue who makes you feel terrible the minute you put in your application, don’t waste your time with them. Go to another rescue, go to a shelter; the world is full of awesome dogs, and lots of them are a fit for your family. All you have to do is go out and meet them.


Let’s Be Friends! : A Few Tips for Introducing Dogs

When I’m not writing for TU, I work with dogs at a large animal sanctuary. We get dogs in from all over with a variety of issues, and while many of them are a little selective with their doggy friends, we try hard at work to find them suitable roommates and playmates.  There are a lot of benefits that come with dogs having friends: first, dogs can play with each other in a way that humans just can’t duplicate, and I suspect it’s a relief for dogs to be able to easily communicate with each other.  An analogy I use a lot is this: if you’re in a foreign country, even if you’re pretty good in the local language, it can be a huge relief to find somebody who speaks your native language and can understand your little idioms and colloquialisms and accents. Sometimes it’s nice to not have to fight to be understood, and while dogs work hard to make humans understand what they’re saying, other dogs speak dog as a first language.

Second, dogs benefit from keeping their dog skills up. Even dogs who don’t care much for other dogs need practice walking peacefully down the street when other dogs pass them, and having occasional low-stress exposure to new dogs can be a big benefit, even for dogs who don’t really want to play.  Sometimes our ‘playdates’ at work just consist of two dogs peacefully coexisting in the same space, not interacting, just sniffing around and exploring on their own terms.  They’re not very exciting looking, but those low-key encounters can be valuable too!

Because my older dogs in particular can be pretty selective with other dogs, I have absolutely been guilty of limiting their dog-dog social time in the past; however, doing lots of dog introductions at work has gotten me a lot braver about it, and these days, Widget and Nimbus have a several playdates every week, Nellie has periodic playdates with with specific dogs and Lucy’s started to go on group walks where she doesn’t interact with other dogs but walks peacefully in the group. This is a terrific thing for all of them, and I’m glad I’ve started to be able to do it again. Below the cut, I’ll lay out the steps we use for new dog introductions at work, which have also worked really well with my own guys!

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Wordless Wednesday PLUS: a contest!

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And now: a contest! TU had a looooooong winter and spent a lot of time waiting for spring.  Now that it’s finally (finally!) warming up again, we wanted to celebrate with all of you guys by hosting one of our annual occasional whenever-we-happen-to-think-of-it-and-have-something-cool-to-give-away photo contests! The theme for this contest is “Spring Has Sprung”: we want to see pictures of your dogs springing, leaping, jumping and otherwise getting big air in the great outdoors. Need inspiration? Check out the photos of River, Owen, Julio and Frankie above.  We’re giving you one week to take an awesome picture of your jumping dog/s: you can either submit them on the Team Unruly Facebook page (we’ll put up an official contest submission thread) or you can email them to us at

Is there a prize? You bet there’s a prize! This time, we’re giving away a Flat Out Leash by Ruffwear. These leashes are light, sturdy and really well designed: you can use the handle as a regular handle or you can extend it to wear it around your waist, plus the handle comes apart so you can use it as a tether (if you’ve got to leave your dog for a second and run in for a coffee or something).  It’s got a nice hidden accessory loop for hanging poop bags or your keys, there’s a traffic handle right near the clip, and the clip itself is this great, springy, hard-core thing, very different from your average swivel snap.  Plus, they are really strong and can handle a lot of nonsense: Kelsey’s dogs are constantly dragging their Ruffwear leashes around through the water and the sand, using them for tug-of-war matches with each other, getting them wrapped around trees, etc. and not only are they still going strong, they all look brand new.  The one we have to give away is black with a handsome gray stripe: it’s suave, gender-neutral, goes with everything and will help you and your buddy enjoy the great outdoors this spring.

Ruffwear leash

Stock photo from, but this is what the winner’s leash will look like!

You have SIX DAYS from the time of this post to submit your photo to us: all photos need to be in by 5 PM MST on Tuesday, April 21st to qualify for the contest.  We’ll decide the winner and will announce it in next week’s Wordless Wednesday post, where we’ll also feature the winner’s photo. So get out there and SPRING!

Product Review: The Harness Lead

In my non-professional opinion, the single hardest thing about having a three-legged dog is finding a workable harness.  My sweet girl Nellie has some trachea damage from the same crummy early life that rendered her a tripod, which means that if she puts even a little pressure on her neck, she starts to huff.  However, she is also a pretty impressive puller and and, bless her crazy little heart, is rarely dissuaded by the fact that if she pulls, she can’t, you know, breathe. I am not proud of this, but I am as lazy as hell about teaching loose leash walking (or, I should say, about being consistent with it), and as such, I’ve been looking for a good harness solution for Nellie pretty much since I got her.

And oh, have we tried a lot of harnesses. Note that Nellie absolutely doesn’t tolerate head halters (Gentle Leader/Halti style: I promise, I have tried), so we’ve been investigating body harnesses exclusively. My favorite of all of the ones we’ve tried has been the ComfortFlex, a harness that a lot of flyball people use. The front strap on the ComfortFlex is set a little lower than most harnesses, which means it tends to sit on Nellie’s chest instead of sliding up to the neck or down to the legs.

nellie in nantucket #2

However, because the design really relies on the dog having two front legs to keep it in place, the Comfortflex tended to slide around and get all cattywhampus when she ran. See how it’s kind of drifting down the side of her body in this picture?

she's such a swimmer now!

We also tried a mesh Puppia harness, which was comfortable for her and dried quickly when she got it wet, but slid around way worse than the Comfortflex, sometimes to the point where it would slip up around her neck and made her get chokey when she pulled.  Again, this is nothing against the product itself; I think it’s a good one, but it’s just not made for tripod dogs.  I included this picture primarily because it’s adorable, but see how it’s starting to drift up her back and over the place where her front leg is supposed to be?

Nellie in the flowersI love Easy Walk and Sense-ation harnesses for most dogs–we use them with a lot of my dogs at work–but they are even less appropriate than the other harnesses on this list for tripods, because they really rely on the front clip staying positioned between the dog’s front legs on the chest. If there’s no leg to hold the front clip in place, the harness completely ceases to function. In this picture, Lucy’s wearing an Easy Walk that has shifted around a little bit but still works; Nellie’s….does not.


And finally, there’s Ruffwear’s WebMaster harness, which is designed to be adaptable for tripods. I like this harness a lot, but it hasn’t been perfect for us; Nellie kind of falls between Ruffwear’s sizes, so ours is a touch big, and I also feel like it kind of restricts the natural movement in her one remaining shoulder (in fairness, this may be because we have an older version: it looks like the newer ones have been slimmed up a bit).



However, I don’t want to speak too soon, but I think it’s possible I have solved our harness woes!  Behold, the Harness Lead!  This is not actually meant specifically for three legged dogs, but the amazing thing about it is that it works the same, regardless of how many front legs your dog has.

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